Alcoholism & Confused But Grateful

woodenheartI’ll be the first to admit that I just didn’t get the AA approach for a long (long) time.

I did my 90 meetings in 90 days and felt….underwhelmed. Was there something I wasn’t getting? Something others were?

But along the road somewhere I learned it’s not the big wins, it’s the cumulative effect of the little wisdoms, over time.

Through the kindness, listening, and empathy I listened to, I began to shed light on the path to forgiving…myself.

It’s more difficult looking back, when you’re out of the pain, and living a different life, to identify what specific elements of the recovery journey it was, that truly flipped the switch.

That helped me conclude that I am as worthy of recovery, of self-improvement, of understanding myself, as anyone else at my group.

 

Of course the usual aspects helped, my sponsor, sober buddys (the ones that truly stick around), and the folk who simply listened.

 

So this is a post of (slightly) confused gratitude….but gratitude nonetheless.

 

To all who have helped me on this journey, and the rest who will in time – I am truly grateful.

I will continue to give back.